My Daughter Qurratul Ain

Wonderful Life?

Tiada siapa yg menyangka dalam usiaku 23 tahun aku akn mendirikan rumahtangga..tp org ckp hidup ini adalah pilihan kita sendiri,ur life is ur choice..jika aku merungut dgn perkahwinan ak skrg,outside people ttp blame me..so ak sentiasa redho even sebesar gunung masalah yg melanda ak.Perkahwinan yg sgt simple n 'budget',no invitation card,no dress,no photoghper, no foods and no ceremony just akad nikah,aku telah pom bergelar istri.

I have a dream,wanna big work on my wedding,perfect ceremony,but this is my fate..my choice and i never menyesal dgn Allah to me. I have a good husband,really perfect, hafizul Quran, a lecturer and he's also smart..so i have proud of my husband even i have no wedding day.Its not about our mistakes but i wanna get married early before i finish my study abroad..ak bkn org berada tuk majlis yg berpuluh ribu that's why perkahwinanku mcm tu.

bgku tdk perlu susahkan org tua,selagi boleh jg hati mereka,ak sedaya upaya akn lakukan,tp...jauh di sudut hatiku..ak tahu ibuku kecewa dgn aku..ibu mengharapkan yg terbaik untk anknya..but to my beloved mum, i promised u, i wanna be a ustazah and make u proud of me..yuhuuu...not today, but one day...i promised...one day...

i got pregnant after one month married..diluar jangkaan kami,tp Allah know apa yg terbaik tuk kami.ats sbb itu jgk,i post-pone my study one year..sgt sedih tp i must face all of them..after that, ak lahirkan baby gurl,sangka boy,kuar2 gurl,Alhamdulillah..actually i duno what's name for my daughter..yg de dlm senarai kami semua ank lelaki,hahaha...kelam kabut cari nama kat hospital..setelah agk lama kami berfikir,muafik dgn nm Qurratul Ain..Penyejuk mata kami..

bg seorg ibu yg de prasaan keibuan yg Allah anugerahkan pd semua ibu kecuali ibu 'haram'...tu dah Allah cabut prasaan keibuaan dlm diri mereka,mereka sanggup tinggalkan ank dlm tong sampah,cekik sehingga mati dan sebagainya, how could them do this to her baby...Allah ujiku dgn 'pisahkan' ak dgn bayiku n hubby..ak tinggalkan bayiku waktu umonya 6 bulan,she's a very smart baby,seminggu sblm ak fly to futher my study, she never sleep at night,she's want spend whole night with me..kdg2 ak tersangat penat,dah la xmau tido,pastu nak ak dukung dia,ak tawaf living room lebih dri 7 kali, ak biarkan suamiku tdo coz dia kene keje esok pg so he need more rest. ak xkisah,lgpom i'm a housewife,kecualilah kalo ak keje gak pg tu so maybe ak akn pakse suamiku jg ank tgh2 mlm.huhuhu

Qurratul Ain tersgt lah bnyk karenahnya make me gonna be crazy here..every second, ak teringat kat my baby. ak nangis setiap hari,selama ke hri ni,i calculate that i never stop crying untill today,start end of january.
can u imagine,every baby i found, like Qurratul Ain walaupom baby bangsa Arab not Malay...when i saw them, air mata ni cepat je nk kuar,mcm pair bocor. i never be a mother before,this is my first time...and i felt so bad,very bad,harus berpisah dgn bayiku,arghhhhhh kuatkah ak?

Pengorbanan yg jarang2 org dpt harunginya..kalo x krn hubbyku memberi sokongan padu pdku,ak xmungkin sekuat ini..syukran kathir ya habibi..sesungguhnya suamiku bknlah seorg llki yg teruk krn rela berpisah dgnku..that;s mean,inilah pengornbanan suami & istri..suamiku ingin melihat ak berjaya dan kejayaanku utk ibu dan ayahku..when i start give up,my hubby ckp,dont stop becoz ini adalah harapan org tua so go on,please..

Oh Allah...sungguh berat ak rasa..ak adalah ibu yg xdpt lihat my first baby bertutur bhs pertamanya, my first baby makan dgn jarinya,my first baby melangkah with her first step...semua tu ak xdpt lihat..ak hanya mampu menatap screen melihat bayiku tanpa dpt memberi sokongan pdnya...

if she's got fever, i alwiz blame hubby,why u dont take care our baby? sampai hati tgk our daughter sakit...dah bwk pegi klinik?blikan ubat? i'm so worry..i'm her mother, i carry her 9 month..only mother can fell it..

Doa dan tawakkal...

Alhamdulillah selesai sudah imtihan syahadah yg ditunggu2 dgn penuh debaran...bersyukur pdMu Ya Allah krn peluang ini. Peluang untk diri ini menggengam segulung ijazah dr Azhar. kadang-kadang seakan xpercaya,bolehkah aku?mampukah aku? tetapi aku kenal apa itu TAWAKAL....

Never give up from Rahmat Allah, i alwiz keep this word in my heart,trust Allah and Allah will give what u want..Thanks Allah for giving me chance,a gold chance like this.2 years ago,i ask to Allah, i want marry someone i like and i love,so He gave me and i was married.Last year, i ask Allah, i wanna a kid,so He gave me a beautiful daughter,Subhanallah...she's really cute..so thankful to Allah,Alhamdulillah..

And now, i ask to my Lord Allah to get degree in my study here. Diri ini mengharapkan kejayaan dan kerahmatan dr Allah. Siang n malam ak meminta pd Nya Rabbul Alamin agar kurniakan ak najah kabir fil imtihan...kejayaan ini bkn untuk aku tetapi to my beloved husband n my daughter. Praise to Allah, my hubby really understand me.He's very supporting husband,perpisahan sementara selama 5 bulan..dalam waktu sepanjg dan selama itu,pelbagai perasaan yg melanda kami..tetapi kami tetap yakin Innallha Ma'as Sobirin..Aku penah putus asa dan mahu segera pulang ke Malaysia krn tdk tahan menanggung rindu,setiap hari menitiskan air mata,terngiang2 di telinga tangisan bayiku,gelak ketawa bayiku,sungguh aku tdk tahan dgn semua tu.Aku merayu pd hubby,aku ingin pulang..He said to me,bersabar my dear,i know how u fell but u must know this is ur dream and ur future..dont be sad becoz Allah alwiz be with u...ini pengorbanan kita syg,kita mesti kuat..Insya Allah everything is alright,abg sentisa menyokong syg dan berdoa untk syg..yg pntg concentrate ur study and study hard,very hard..Yes, he alwiz right.i know and must Redho..sometimes i fell better die than be gona missing him and my baby..i'm going crazy..arghhhhh

qurratul ain kat dapur